Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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