somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
