We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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