Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
