I puked a lego.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
