I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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