The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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