He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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