so explain again why im purple
no
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
