Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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