Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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