Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
