omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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