3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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