I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
