At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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