SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
