If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize