Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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