I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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