stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He is an equal opportunity slut.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
