I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
barbara walters just said penis...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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