He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
