i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
