The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
