it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
