I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
