I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
