she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
