I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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