i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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