This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
