Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
