The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize