you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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