yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
