Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
