i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
