so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
