perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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