so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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