she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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