At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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