I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
