do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
