I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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