If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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