garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We need to rekindle our bromance
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
