Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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