Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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