what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
