As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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