So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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