Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
