We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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