So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
