And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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