Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
