i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize